The Unworthy Love

The rain was pouring wildly that night, so was she. Anyone who knew her could see that she cried out all night just with a glance at her face. Even if her ‘friends’ ask her about it she would say it was nothing and smile but, her Whatsapp status had another story to tell. Well, if someone asked her about her status she would argue and say, “should I really go through them just because I posted it?” And hush them up. She was found to be a difficult girl to interact with but she wasn’t and only he knew it.

People would give her names like ‘nerd’, ‘freak’, ‘self-fish’ and a lot more. She would hear them out in silence then and cried when she was alone. She just wanted a friend who would understand but what she got were bystanders who used her while they needed help during exams. She knew that she would be forgotten after the exams but she enjoyed that little time spent with someone she could call herself a ‘friend’. She was lonely but that couldn’t defeat her for she had befriended it. There were no exams that could fail her for she was a hard worker who dedicated her life to books but there was something that defeated and pulled her down to regrets; love.

Was it possible to fall in love with a nerd? After all who wants a girl with brains these days, when the face masked females roam around luring the alphas and call it an enchanted version of ‘true love’? Love did find a way to her. She didn’t want to accept it but love is just like that, it wouldn’t leave you until you surrender to its charms. Well, falling in love was not a planned theory that one could study. It so happens just like that, doesn’t it?

She did not understand what had he seen in her when he confessed his love. All she could see in her was her big spectacled eyes and not so neatly combed hair and hand full of books. She was shocked to hear the confession but she just said, “Who dared you? Love me? You? Why?” He just stood there in silence and said, “I happened to be a guy who likes ‘girls with brains’.” He smiled. She was taken aback by his response. She didn’t say anything but left the place as soon as possible.

She always wondered how her classmates fell in love and assumed herself to be someone who was not attractive enough to be loved. Well, her definition of ‘attraction’ might have been too strong. But, she couldn’t forget the one who confessed his love, she wondered the whole night for a reason so that she could make herself believe that he was lying, but he wasn’t. He tried several times to prove his love, but her assumption of seeing herself unworthy to be loved pulled her back from falling in love even when she wanted to. But finally, she had to agree that she had feelings for him.

There started a love story. They became a couple and their love story was narrated in the whole school ‘mockingly’. Other students laughed at him. But he wasn’t scared to hold her hand and walk through the corridors. But, she couldn’t stand the crowd who teased him. One day he confronted her and asked her the reason for her distancing from him and she said how she felt when others laughed at him. He stared into her eyes and smiled, “My silly girl, they don’t see you like the way I see you. The thing is I am the one who doesn’t deserve you. You are far beyond my reach and I am lucky to have you. There is a girl behind those spectacles who knows more about true love than those masked beauties, they don’t attract me. It’s you and it will always be you.” He said. She never knew love was this beautiful. She never knew the strength love could give to face challenges but now with him, she knew what it was and what powers it beholden.

He was her only best friend and she would never get someone like that ever in her life, she knew. But destiny wasn’t that kind to her. With an accident, memories were taken away from him and she was left to live in their memories alone. She didn’t complain, she was happy to see him all alive. After all, how could she even confront him when he didn’t even recognize her. That was the time she decided to end ‘true love’ shit because after everything that she got was a broken heart. Exams were much easier to handle than the pain love gifted her.

After two months of accidents, he joined the school from the beginning. It was difficult to see him with another girl when she had all the memories and he didn’t. There she became the old nerd which she was supposed to be. ‘After all, I am unworthy to be in love.’ She sighed. Even if she regretted falling in love, it was the best few months she ever had in her life.

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