It was nearly six months after their breakup. The phone stayed silent on the desk. It messed up her mind- the Instagram stories, the couple videos, her couple friends’ posts. But, more than anything, his Instagram stories chilling with his friends with bottles in his hands with a broad smile on his face like nothing terrible happened, like she didn’t matter to him after all, hurt her more. So she decided to give everything a break. She tried to distract herself with things she once loved, but nothing seemed to be helping her.
She loved writing; she liked hiding him in her words; now that he was gone, writing felt like a difficult task. Sometimes she would prepare herself to write something but end up staring at the void with a pen’s bottom between her lips and a blank paper in front of her. Sometimes she would stare at the sky and wonder why it hurt too much because she couldn’t talk about it to anyone. Whenever his name came up in any conversation, she would talk about it and end up crying, even after trying hard to wipe them off her face. So she kept quiet about things that made her cry. She stopped talking about him.
Eventually, her gentle heart started to let go. It wasn’t easy for her to get there. It took many months, many sleepless nights, and random crying in the middle of the night. She was happy once again; she started to write.
Her relationship seemed perfect from the outside, and many wondered why they broke up. Whenever they were together, her face knew nothing but to smile. But not everyone talks about things that aren’t perfect regarding relationships, right? Like that, she also hid the imperfect face of their relationship. The swollen face after crying all night, the mid-night arguments over broken promises, the girls he would tell her not to worry about- apart from all these, she loved him, believed his lies once again. She protected his image in front of others.
One fine day her friend, who couldn’t hide his curiosity, asked her with his fingers crossed, “He seemed to be a nice guy; you were happy with him. Why did you guys break up?”
She laughed almost painfully, “One day, he loved me and the next, he didn’t. Strange, isn’t it? How fast someone’s feelings can change, and then there’s nothing you can do but accept it. You have to accept that you’re completely in love with someone who doesn’t even give a shit whether you come or go. Like your relationship only lasted because you made the efforts like only you wanted to make it last. And that sucks.”
This time she didn’t cry. She knew she had healed herself.